Funny Quotes
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
Ursula K. LeGuin
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
Samuel Butler
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Redd Foxx
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
Gordon R. Dickson
One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
Will Durant
Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?
Anonymous
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
Socrates
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
Rita Mae Brown
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Gustav Jung
I never set out to be weird. It was always the other people who called me weird.
Frank Zappa
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash
Science may be described as the art of systematic over-simplification.
Sir Karl Raymund Popper
Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.
Cincinnati Enquirer
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Dale Carnegie
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Dave Thomas
God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
Ageing isn't that bad if you consider the alternatives.
Maurice Chevalier
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
George Carlen
Is it progress if a cannibal uses knife and fork?
Stanislaw Lec
Reply With Quote
