New plan:

1. Grab bull by the horns, and make him immobile.
2. Grab tiger by the tail and put it on top of the bull.
3. Grab child, throw it on top of the tiger.
4. Grab puppy, put it on child.
5. Grab kitten, toss it on the puppy.
6. Chug about 15 "5 hour energy" drinks.
7. Epic kick - get the bull, tiger, child, puppy, and kitten all in the nuts in one kick.
8. RMA the cards once I hit my 1M in MW.
9. Punt a Chihuahua, since no one would think that's a bad idea. And it would be funny.

Stupid cards.

Thanks for all your help, anyone. If anyone has any bright ideas in the next week, I'd love to hear them, since I have a bit before I'm going to send the cards in...