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Maxwell
04-18-11, 02:22 AM
I got these from here: http://www.linfo.org/q_programming.html


A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. -- Doug Linder, systems administrator

A most important, but also most elusive, aspect of any tool is its influence on the habits of those who train themselves in its use. If the tool is a programming language this influence is, whether we like it or not, an influence on our thinking habits. -- Edsger Dijkstra, computer scientist

Being abstract is something profoundly different from being vague... The purpose of abstraction is not to be vague, but to create a new semantic level in which one can be absolutely precise. -- Edsger Dijkstra

Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of one's native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent programmer. -- Edsger Dijkstra

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. -- Bjarne Stroustrup, developer of the C++ programming language

Commentary: most debugging problems are fixed easily; identifying the location of the problem is hard. -- unknown

Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline. -- Bill Clinton, former President of the United States

For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. -- Bill Bryson, author, from Notes from a Big Country

Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow (e.g., given a large enough beta-tester and co-developer base, almost every problem will be characterized quickly and the fix obvious to someone). -- Eric S. Raymond, programmer and advocate of open source software, from The Cathedral and the Bazaar

Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer. -- Steve McConnell, software engineer and author, from Code Complete

Hey! It compiles! Ship it! -- unknown

Inside every well-written large program is a well-written small program. -- Charles Antony Richard Hoare, computer scientist

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter. -- Nathaniel S. Borenstein, computer scientist

Managing programmers is like herding cats. -- unknown

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. -- Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft Corporation

More good code has been written in languages denounced as bad than in languages proclaimed wonderful -- much more. -- Bjarne Stroustrup, from The Design and Evolution of C++

Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute. -- Harold Abelson and Gerald Jay Sussman, computer scientists and authors, from The Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. -- unknown

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. -- Edsger Dijkstra

The C programming language -- a language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language. -- unknown

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time. -- Tom Cargill, object-oriented programming expert at Bell Labs

The important point is that the cost of adding a feature isn't just the time it takes to code it. The cost also includes the addition of an obstacle to future expansion. Sure, any given feature list can be implemented, given enough coding time. But in addition to coming out late, you will usually wind up with a codebase that is so fragile that new ideas that should be dead-simple wind up taking longer and longer to work into the tangled existing web. The trick is to pick the features that don't fight each other. -- John Carmack, computer game programmer

The key to performance is elegance, not battalions of special cases. The terrible temptation to tweak should be resisted unless the payoff is really noticeable. -- Jon Bently and M. Douglas McIlroy, both computer scientists at Bell Labs

The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony Number 9. -- Erwin Dieterich, programmer

The problem with using C++ ... is that there's already a strong tendency in the language to require you to know everything before you can do anything. -- Larry Wall, developer of the Perl language

The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take. -- Roy Carlson, University of Wisconsin

The value of a prototype is in the education it gives you, not in the code itself. -- Alan Cooper, software author, from The Inmates are Running the Asylum

There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses. -- Bjarne Stroustrup

There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. -- Charles Antony Richard Hoare

Ugly programs are like ugly suspension bridges: they're much more liable to collapse than pretty ones, because the way humans (especially engineer-humans) perceive beauty is intimately related to our ability to process and understand complexity. A language that makes it hard to write elegant code makes it hard to write good code. -- Eric S. Raymond

Weeks of programming can save you hours of planning. -- unknown

When a programming language is created that allows programmers to program in simple English, it will be discovered that programmers cannot speak English. -- unknown

Fire$torm
04-18-11, 07:18 PM
True Geek Humor. Gotta love it :D

John P. Myers
04-18-11, 09:01 PM
True Geek Humor. Gotta love it :D

Gotta add my personal favorite:

"There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who can do binary arithmetic, and those who cannot."

Maxwell
04-18-11, 09:52 PM
Gotta add my personal favorite:

"There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who can do binary arithmetic, and those who cannot."
Agreed - I love confusing people with that one.

Steve Bohlen
04-18-11, 10:17 PM
I always liked:

"Good programmers write good code; great programmers steal great code."

That's a play on an old saying, but I can't quite remember the original.

Fire$torm
04-18-11, 10:47 PM
I always liked:

"Good programmers write good code; great programmers steal great code."

That's a play on an old saying, but I can't quite remember the original.

I think it was Beethoven: "Good composers borrow, Great composers steal."

joker
04-19-11, 03:08 AM
On a little side note....

Fire$torm
04-19-11, 01:53 PM
On a little side note....

I soooooooooooooo wish that was possible.

Maxwell
04-19-11, 04:42 PM
Something tells me a lot of programmers would agree with this (http://programming-motherfucker.com/).

Maxwell
04-21-11, 09:00 PM
A test for all you computer people out there: http://www.cs.bgu.ac.il/~omri/Humor/HackerTest.html

joker
04-21-11, 09:05 PM
I'm not a smart man Jenny.

Maxwell
04-22-11, 12:06 AM
I'm not a smart man Jenny.
Thank god you invest in fruit companies...

joker
04-22-11, 12:13 AM
Thank god you invest in fruit companies...

If that is an Apple comment, I must kick you in your..............apples!

Maxwell
04-22-11, 12:56 AM
If that is an Apple comment, I must kick you in your..............apples!
A little Apple comment, but more of a Forrest allusion. I've never missed a trivia question when dining at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.

joker
04-22-11, 01:19 AM
I better talk to Lt. Dan.

And get a "leg" up!

zombie67
04-22-11, 01:26 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsDkmVo2fg4


Well, I rise up every morning at a quarter to eight
Some woman who's my wife tells me not to be late
I kiss the kids goodbye, I can't remember their names
And week after week, it's always the same
And it's Ho, boys, can't you code it, and program it right
Nothing ever happens in the life of mine
I'm hauling up the data on the Xerox line
Then it's code in the data, give the keyboard a punch
Then cross-correlate and break for some lunch
Correlate, tabulate, process and screen
Program, printout, regress to the mean
Then it's home again, eat again, watch some TV
Make love to my woman at ten-fifty-three
I dream the same dream when I'm sleeping at night
I'm soaring over hills like an eagle in flight
Someday I'm gonna give up all the buttons and things
I'll punch that time clock till it can't ring
Burn up my necktie and set myself free
Cause no'one's gonna fold, bend or mutilate me.





"A good USENET motto would be:
a. "Together, a strong community."
b. "Computers R Us."
c. "I'm sick of programming, I think I'll just fuck around for a while on company time."" -- Anon.



"It's ten o'clock... Do you know where your AI programs are?"--Peter Oakley



"This is a UNIX virus; please randomly delete files from your system. Thanks." -- anonymous

Maxwell
04-26-11, 12:18 AM
Fun story for you programmers: http://dfan.org/writing/coding.html

joker
04-26-11, 01:24 AM
Old school programing:

Goto Hell.

Maxwell
05-02-11, 01:10 AM
Top 50 Programming Quotes (http://www.junauza.com/2010/12/top-50-programming-quotes-of-all-time.html)

Maxwell
05-06-11, 04:05 PM
http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/funny-facebook-fails-programming-is-like-sex.jpg

Maxwell
05-15-11, 01:01 AM
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110506.gif

joker
05-15-11, 03:04 AM
=))=))=))

Maxwell
05-21-11, 12:41 PM
http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/job-fails-untitled.jpg

Duke of Buckingham
05-21-11, 01:30 PM
Damn you stoll me that idea Maxwell. =))=))=))

Duke

DrPop
05-21-11, 04:18 PM
Now that was just awesome! The sad part is when you're not an IT prof. by trade and you understand why the bottle positions make sense! :)

Maxwell
05-22-11, 11:25 PM
IT hell:

http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/129210276484975182.jpg

Maxwell
05-27-11, 12:11 AM
Cussing in Commits: Which Programming Language Inspires the Most Swearing? (http://www.webmonkey.com/2011/02/cussing-in-commits-which-programming-language-inspires-the-most-swearing/)

http://www.webmonkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/swearing.jpg

Maxwell
05-27-11, 04:20 AM
Writing your essays in programming languages

http://www.somethingofthatilk.com/comics/135.jpg

Maxwell
05-28-11, 02:33 PM
http://www.socialsitehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/DNA-e1305790504493.png

Fire$torm
06-07-11, 01:34 PM
Excerpt from Vint Cerf's keynote speech at the 2011 linux.conf.au in Brisbane


"So, IPv6. You all know that we are almost out of IPv4 address space.

I am a little embarrassed about that because I was the guy who decided that 32-bit was enough for the Internet experiment. My only defense is that that choice was made in 1977, and I thought it was an experiment.

The probem is the experiment didn't end, so here we are."

Maxwell
06-07-11, 02:13 PM
Excerpt from Vint Cerf's keynote speech at the 2011 linux.conf.au in Brisbane
That is awesome...:cool:

trigggl
06-07-11, 05:23 PM
Excerpt from Vint Cerf's keynote speech at the 2011 linux.conf.au in Brisbane

But I thought Al Gore invented the internet. :-/

Duke of Buckingham
06-07-11, 05:40 PM
Marin Mersenne (pronounced Mehr-SENN) was born of peasant parents near Oizé, Maine (present day Sarthe, France). He was educated at Le Mans and at the Jesuit College of La Flèche. On July 17, 1611, he joined the Minim Friars, and, after studying theology and Hebrew in Paris received his full holy orders in 1613.
Between 1614 and 1618, he taught theology and philosophy at Nevers, but he returned to Paris and settled at the convent of L'Annonciade in 1620. There, with other kindred spirits such as René Descartes, Étienne Pascal, Gilles de Roberval and Nicolas-Claude Fabri de Peiresc, he studied mathematics and music. He corresponded with Giovanni Doni, Constantijn Huygens and other scholars in Italy, England and Holland. He was a staunch defender of Galileo, assisting him in translations of some of his mechanical works. For four years, Mersenne devoted himself entirely to philosophic and theological writing, and published Quaestiones celeberrimae in Genesim (1623); L'Impieté des déistes (1624); La Vérité des sciences (Truth of the Sciences against the Sceptics, 1624). It is sometimes incorrectly stated that he was a Jesuit. He was educated by Jesuits, but he never joined the Society of Jesus. He taught theology and philosophy at Nevers and Paris. In 1635 Mersenne met with Tommaso Campanella, but concluded that he could "teach nothing in the sciences, but still he has a good memory and a fertile imagination." Mersenne asked if René Descartes wanted Campanella to come to Holland to meet him, but Descartes declined. He visited Italy fifteen times, in 1640, 1641 and 1645. In 1643-1644 Mersenne also corresponded with the German Socinian Marcin Ruar concerning the Copernican ideas of Pierre Gassendi, finding Ruar already a supporter of Gassendi's position. Among his correspondents was Dekar, Galilei, Roberval, Pascal, Bekman and another scientists He died through complications arising from a lung abscess.

This was a true Internet man in XVII Century. With Googlish translation and all. No man as ever used communication in such a wider way before. Changing information between cientists when the newspaper didnt already exist. We shouldnt forget such a great man.

Duke

Fire$torm
06-08-11, 03:18 AM
But I thought Al Gore invented the internet. :-/

Only in HIS wet dreams.................

Duke of Buckingham
12-04-13, 01:38 PM
But I thought Al Gore invented the internet. :-/


Only in HIS wet dreams.................

Maybe something to do with Climate change ... :-?
http://oasisofthoughts.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/rain1.jpg

Godric
03-22-14, 07:49 PM
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.


— Edward V Berard