Amusing Stuff...

[STMahlberg]

Just one of many things that cracks me up every time I watch this movie.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr91hGK_ZWU

[Maxwell]

/me cries because the content was blocked...

[KaoticEvil[SETI.USA]]

/me cries because the content was blocked...
/me hands Maxwell a kleenex and gets out his copy of Spaceballs: The Movie contained on Spaceballs: The DVD ;)

[STMahlberg]

/me cries because the content was blocked...
The clip was blocked??? It's not like there were wild naked titties in it.

[STMahlberg]

I may have posted this before but I couldn't find it on the other board. Any Frisky Dingo fans out there?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXiIOICKocU

[KaoticEvil[SETI.USA]]

The clip was blocked??? It's not like there were wild naked titties in it.

From the video:

This video contains content from mgm, who has blocked it on copyright grounds.

[STMahlberg]

;556']From the video:

Dang, that's strange that I can see it though. I'll have to host it from my site.

Also strange is that it didn't quote your entire message. :-/

[Maxwell]

Also strange is that it didn't quote your entire message. :-/
Actually, that's an interesting feature of the boards I had to get used to. Unlike the old boards, the "quote" function here only quotes the original content of the prior message. If you want to quote stuff from multiple messages, you need to hit that little 'quote' icon right next to the Quote word...

[STMahlberg]

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/5398/3384986622ee7ea730d1o.jpg

[STMahlberg]

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/8710/demotivationalposters02.jpg

[STMahlberg]

Not Your Average SMARTCAR... This thing does 0 to 60 in 4.2 seconds, 1/4 mile in 12.4 seconds and tops out at 132 mph. This Smartcar was fitted with a 180hp Suzuki GSXR1000 engine and you can buy one for £9000... I think the Brits have too much time on their hands.

http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/6370/44872165337153479301100.jpg

[STMahlberg]

http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/7852/demotivationalpostersrec.jpg

[STMahlberg]

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/8075/consistency.jpg

[STMahlberg]

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/9721/demotivationalposter.jpg

[Maxwell]

http://files.sharenator.com/714200835458PM_CHOCOLATE_ICE_CREAM_DE_DE_MOTIVATIO NAL_POSTERS_Motivational_Pictures_Please-s425x408-63449-580.jpg

[Maxwell]

Magic Eye image:

http://www.jasonunger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/magic-eye.gif

[STMahlberg]

Magic Eye image:

Not sure what I am suppose to do or see. :confused:

[STMahlberg]

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/763/1081o.jpg

[Maxwell]

Not sure what I am suppose to do or see. :confused:
You don't remember those Magic Eye pictures? Where you look "through" them to see some hidden image? That image is one of them, and pretty funny...

[STMahlberg]

You don't remember those Magic Eye pictures? Where you look "through" them to see some hidden image? That image is one of them, and pretty funny...

Oh yeah... Always had a problem with seeing those, still do apparently.

[zombie67]

Oh yeah... Always had a problem with seeing those, still do apparently.

After 3 previous attempts, I finally got it to work. There is a lot of wisdom there...

[STMahlberg]

After 3 previous attempts, I finally got it to work. There is a lot of wisdom there...

OMG LOL I finally saw it. You are so right.

[STMahlberg]

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/300/3590702172b051d1a206.jpg

[STMahlberg]

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/921/hotfunnylol7d704eddd795.jpg

[STMahlberg]

She can interrogate me anytime; of course I'm would be willing to switch sides also... Either way, I'm good. ;)

http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/2979/femtrooperfemtroopersto.jpg

[STMahlberg]

Although, this link isn't really funny, I just wanted to show some work that my best friend, Mike Dobiesz, was involved in making a short silent movie for a UNLV film student. The original film was editing by Mike Dobiesz to include a new soundtrack along with the old fashioned slides.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLq_Vc2Iw2A&feature=sub

Mike plays the editor, one of the body guards and Harvey Levin in the end. Mike is a man of many talents, acting is an interest which he has had the recent opportunity to be involved at UNLV. Mike along with his wife, Jamie, are inspiring artists; Mike who has taken recycled copper and turned them into pieces of art and Jamie who creates incredible pieces of jewelry.

I invite you to look at their website to view their work:

www.slingermd.com (http://www.slingermd.com/)
www.montanarockgirl.com (http://www.montanarockgirl.com/)

[joker]

http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/Made_in_Russia_Girl.jpg

It would appear that my imagination is a perv.

[joker]

http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/B_Jays_Unlimited.jpg

[joker]

http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/A_drunk_cow.jpg

[Maxwell]

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/2007/06/kidsexchange.jpg

[John R.@SETI.USA]

This should "settle" this question.. once & for all!!!
Venison vs. Beef: The controversy ends

From the U.S. Venison Council


Controversy has long raged about the relative quality and taste of venison and beef as gourmet foods. Some people say venison is tough, with a strong "wild" taste. Others insist venison's flavor is delicate. An independent food research group was retained by the Venison Council to conduct a taste test to determine the truth of these conflicting assertions once and for all.

First, a Grade A Choice Holstein steer was chased into a swamp a mile and a half from a road and shot several times. After some of the entrails were removed, the carcass was dragged back over rocks and logs, and through mud and dust to the road. It was then thrown into the back of a pickup truck and driven through rain and snow for 100 miles before being hung out in the sun for a day.

It was then lugged into a garage where it was skinned and rolled around on the floor for a while. Strict sanitary precautions were observed throughout the test, within the limitations of the butchering environment. For instance, dogs and cats were allowed to sniff and lick the steer carcass, but most of the time were chased away when they attempted to bite chunks out of it.

Next, a sheet of plywood left from last year's butchering was set up in the basement on two saw horses. The pieces of dried blood, hair and fat left from last year were scraped off with a wire brush last used to clean out the grass stuck under the lawn mower.

The skinned carcass was then dragged down the steps into the basement where a half dozen inexperienced but enthusiastic and intoxicated men worked on it with meat saws, cleavers, hammers and dull knives. The result was 375 pounds of soup bones, four bushel baskets of meat scraps, and a couple of steaks that were an eighth of an inch thick on one edge and an inch and a half thick on the other edge.

The steaks were seared on a glowing red hot cast iron skillet to lock in the flavor. When the smoke cleared, rancid bacon grease was added, along with three pounds of onions, and the whole conglomeration was fried for two hours.

The meat was gently teased from the frying pan and served to three intoxicated and blindfolded taste panel volunteers. Every member of the panel thought it was venison. One volunteer even said it tasted exactly like the venison he has eaten in hunting camps for the past 27 years.

The results of this scientific test conclusively show that there is no difference between the taste of beef and venison...

[Maxwell]

That was great, JR... ^:)^

[Fire$torm]

Wow, Butterfly Baby
http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/Wow_Butterfly_Baby.jpg (http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/1581/Wow_Butterfly_Baby/)

[STMahlberg]

In the interest of SAFETY FIRST:

Ladder accidents claim thousands of people (mostly men) every year.

This video clip shows another needless ladder accident with serious injury; the only good thing was that it was caught on video so others could learn from this man's mistakes. You will be able to see how this type of accident could have easily been prevented.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5vGe5GonoU

[Slicker]

That was great, JR... ^:)^

I second that.

On a side note, Friday a.m. I get to use the "smoke pole" for the first time this year. That sure beats the last 6 weeks of trying to hit the ever elusive bambi with a "stick and a string".

[Maxwell]

This one struck me as funny: http://notalwaysright.com/spelling-gone-rogue/8515

[John R.@SETI.USA]

Just had to share these.........:D

[thepossum1]

Thanks for the good laughs. Love the venison one. You know, it doesn't taste gamey IF you kill it right the first shot and it doesn't run--it's that pesky adenalin. Hope you get at least an 8 pointer Slicker :)

[Maxwell]

For some reason, this struck me as a "Joker" game:

http://www.online-games-zone.com/pages/fun/ultimate-douchebag.php

[Maxwell]

This might be my favorite comment I've read in quite a while...

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20101201.gif

[Maxwell]

Check the bottom left...

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/five_minute_comics_part_3.png

[STMahlberg]

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/9261/draftlens11905561module.jpg

[joker]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/

[Maxwell]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/
That is brilliant. I love it! On my favorites list now...

[Mike029]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/

Funny $h*!. lol

[Maxwell]

http://pophangover.com/wp-content/uploads/crazy-bowler.gif

[joker]

Yes, you will all think I am weird (ok, you probably do already) but I find this amusing: http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/radiskull1_devil_doll/

[c303a]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-0WVfj76bo

A Christmas Carol.
Think of the editing time to put this together.

[John R.@SETI.USA]

Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security



Terrorist Plots Discovered 0

Transvestites 133

Hernias 1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172

Enlarged Prostates 8,249

Breast Implants 59,350

Natural Blondes 3

[Fire$torm]

(Click to enlarge)
http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/8316/barrettmotivationsmall.jpg (http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/1886/barrettmotivation.jpg)

[Maxwell]

Why we should be afraid of trigggl in Nov/Dec:

http://xkcd.com/838/

[Maxwell]

For all the programmers out there...

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/good_code.png (http://xkcd.com/844/)

[Maxwell]

http://www.maniacworld.com/when-work-feels-overwhelming.jpg

[Maxwell]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/dc6d7c3bcc/best-fails-of-2009?rel=player

[Fire$torm]

http://www.maniacworld.com/when-work-feels-overwhelming.jpg

Gawd, that is hilariously depressing.....

[STMahlberg]

Gawd, that is hilariously depressing.....

Ain't that the truth. :(

[c303a]

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).


ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing, My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROTFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go P00P
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

[c303a]

Hey did you hear about the latest mass bird death?



They just found 53 Eagles massacred in Philadelphia...

[STMahlberg]

Hey did you hear about the latest mass bird death?

They just found 53 Eagles massacred in Philadelphia...

That's funny. :))

[Maxwell]

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/zombies-vs.jpeg?w=500&h=582

[Maxwell]

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/funny-graphs47.png

[Maxwell]

http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/funny-graphs-the-schitting-tree.png

[zombie67]

How to spot a meth lab:


http://onlinewebfun.com/wp-content/uploads/how-to-spot-a-meth-lab.jpg

[Fire$torm]

@Max: I know that family!!!!!

@Z: :)) :)) :))

[c303a]

Work or pleasure?



A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

A Lieutenant responded with 75-25% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the private first class who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

[rgathright]

How did we get this far without any FAIL?

http://www.attinderdhillon.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Shipment-of-Fail.jpg

http://www.moonbattery.com/career-fair-fail.jpg

http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/royal-fail.jpg

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/11/17/129029643322909987.jpg

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fail-owned-bridge-boat-fail.jpg

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_t58Xs7CN35o/TJ_iZ2fheiI/AAAAAAAABxE/0rU2NRPpQ9o/2211446837_9a7eef5eb9.jpg

[c303a]

It all began with an iPhone...

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?





I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.







My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.








September came by so for her birthday I got my wife an iRon.







It was around then that the fight started . . .

What the wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital by Thursday!

[Maxwell]

Mythbusters CPU vs. GPU:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1828443

[Fire$torm]

Mythbusters CPU vs. GPU:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1828443

Yeah, that was a cool episode. I used to watch that show quite regularly back in the day.

[c303a]

Pass to all 50 yrs and older.
Cardiovascular Exercise


The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and maintain muscle mass.

If you're over 50, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina. Warning: It may be too strenuous for some.

Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!



Scroll Down.






























NOW SCROLL UP..

That's enough for the first day. Great job. Have a glass of Wine.

[c303a]

Here is evidence that Every Red Blooded American should jump in line to support the Green Bay Packers!

The Packers defeated the Chicago Bears on Sunday afternoon thus earning them

the opportunity to go to the Super Bowl. By doing so,

they saved the Hard-Working, Red-Blooded, Taxpaying Americans literally

several million dollars of tax money. How you say? Simple...

we were told that if the Chicago Bears had won, President

Obama (and probably his family) would be attending the Super Bowl to

cheer on his hometown team. Since the Bears lost...the President

won't be attending. The money saved from not using Air Force 1, the

limousines, all the additional security, and let's not forget

Michelle Obama's entourage, is literally several million

dollars! Therefore every American should cheer on the Green Bay Packers at the

Super Bowl to show them our gratitude. Oh...and let's not forget to

thank Chicago Bear's Quarterback Jay Cutler for his role in the Packer's

success! With that said... now you can can understand why everyone should cheer for...The Green Bay Packers!

[Maxwell]

Oh my god, c303a - that was awesome. I love it!!!

[c303a]

Toilet cleaning instructions













Toilet Cleaning Instructions :

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.


9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.









Sincerely, The Dog
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D














--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Fire$torm]

Cheer on the GBP????

Sorry, But I would rather cut out my own heart with a spoon..........

[Crazybob]

This one is pretty good. From 1994, Katie Couric, Bryant Gumbel try to figure out what the Internet is. Also, what the @ sign is about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nTPX4JW_Ts&feature=player_embedded

[c303a]

Does Katie Couric even know what the internet is today?

[Cappy]

http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/A_drunk_cow.jpg


http://www.funnypictures.com/pictures/A_drunk_cow.jpg

[c303a]

I thought this would be appropriate at this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/c303a/cid_image004_jpg01CBC262.jpg?t=1296667527

http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/c303a/th_cid_image003_jpg01CBC262.jpg?t=1296667106

[c303a]

http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/c303a/th_cid_image003_jpg01CBC262.jpg?t=1296667106

http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/c303a/th_cid_image001_jpg01CBC262.jpg?t=1296667106

http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/c303a/th_cid_image002_jpg01CBC262.jpg?t=1296667106

[Crazybob]

134
Not sure if you can see this. View through my wife's office window. Must be about what it looked like from the lower decks of the Titanic as the water rose.

[Maxwell]

Not sure if you can see this. View through my wife's office window. Must be about what it looked like from the lower decks of the Titanic as the water rose.
Holy crap - that's how high the snow is?!? How high is the window?

[Crazybob]

Granted, the building is a little recessed into the ground there, but the snow was about 4 feet.
http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k90/BobFota/2011_2_2SSCOWHTTT4.jpg
http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k90/BobFota/2011_2_2SSCOWHTTT5.jpg
http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k90/BobFota/2011_2_2SSCOWHTTT3.jpg

[Maxwell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUs7iG1mNjI

[Maxwell]

Poor zombie67. He's led such a tough life...

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/undead1.png

[c303a]

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous
Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

[Fire$torm]

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous
Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

OH SNAP!!!! =))

[Maxwell]

http://www.break.com/index/prank-causes-mom-to-go-insane.html

[Fire$torm]

http://www.break.com/index/prank-causes-mom-to-go-insane.html

If my son had done that to me, I would have laughed my friggin arse off. Looks like Mike's mom is a prime candidate for PROZAC. :P

[c303a]

I'd kill him first then laugh my arse off!

[Maxwell]

http://www.landingpages.co.il/wix/web-designers-vs-developers.png

[Maxwell]

So, these guys (http://www.baratsandbereta.com/home#) are hilarious. I absolutely love them. Here are two of my favorite videos of theirs:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fad6eZTDikA&feature=youtube_gdata

[c303a]

The sharing of marriage....

Grandpa Ole, up dere in da u.p, placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife, Lena ..

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, then Lena took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As grandpa Ole began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as Grandpa Ole finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered



'DA TEETH.'

[John R.@SETI.USA]

Very Important



With all of the severe weather we have been having this winter, the
Department of Transportation issued a travel warning. They suggest that
anyone traveling in the current icy conditions should have the
following:




Shovel

Blankets or sleeping bag

Extra clothing including coats, hats and gloves

24 hours worth of food

De-icer

Rock salt

Flashlight and spare batteries

Road flares or reflective triangles

Empty gas can

Booster cables






I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning.

[c303a]

Senior Snowplow


[/url]http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/c303a/get-attachmentaspx-1.jpg

[Maxwell]

Oh my god this was fantastic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQRMvg5TAl8&feature=player_embedded

[zombie67]

Valentine's Day!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FcspYEOo1I

[Maxwell]

Valentine's Day!
That is funny for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that I was rejected by eHarmony. Oh, and I call Pamela - dibs.

[Maxwell]

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/7640/boatjesus.jpg

[joker]

OMG! .... :p

[joker]

http://perfectlytimedphotos.com/perfectly-timed-photo/7324-perfectly-timed-photo

http://perfectlytimedphotos.com/perfectly-timed-photo/popular/9405-in-soviet-russia-dance-bre

[Crazybob]

That's a great site.:D

[c303a]

One more Viking's joke


While the Pope is on vacation, visiting the rugged beauty of Alaska, he hears a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods of his cabin.

He proceeds to investigate the noise, and happens upon a helpless Minnesota Vikings fan wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Go Vikes Go' hat and a 'Vikings rule' shirt. The Vikings fan was screaming and struggling mightily, trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched the struggle in horror, a group of Green Bay Packers fans wearing 'Super Bowl' shirts came racing up. One quickly fired several .44 magnum slugs right into the bear's chest, narrowly missing the Viking's fan. Two other Packers fans pulled the semiconscious Viking fan from the bear's grasp. Using baseball bats from behind the seats of their pickup truck, the three Packer fans efficiently finished off the grizzly like it was a Pittsburg Steeler. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck, while the other tenderly placed the injured Vikings fan in the back seat.

As they began to leave the scene, the Pope summoned all of the men over to him, and proudly proclaimed, "I give you my blessings for your brave and selfless actions! I have forever heard of bitter hatred between Packers fans and Vikings fans. I have now seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope returned to his cabin, one Packer's fan asked his buddies, "Hey, who the heck was THAT guy?"

"Are you kidding? That was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," said the Packer fan, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Minnesota and get another one?"

[NJCaNS]

I'm making my daughters watch this...a lot.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-Xx8LlpGog&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-Xx8LlpGog&feature=player_embedded.

[Maxwell]

I'm making my daughters watch this...a lot.
Shouldn't that be required viewing in high schools? :-bd

[joker]

Im probably the only one who finds this amusing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ynb20P898k

[Maxwell]

Im probably the only one who finds this amusing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ynb20P898k
No - that's pretty awesome, actually...

[Crazybob]

Good Ones!

[Fire$torm]

Im probably the only one who finds this amusing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ynb20P898k

Dude! That was totally RAD!!

BTW: I know I'm older than many here. Proof? I watched Star Trek (TOS) during its first airing on TV. That was 1966~1969... And I never missed a broadcast!!

Trivia: (Without Cheating) What is the name of Star Trek's original Production company?
Extra Points: Who were the owners of that company?

[-GER-]

That was pretty funny gonna do some link forwarding :)

Desilu studios named after Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball if I remember right. In the last season Gene Roddenberry (smelling the writing on the wall) started introducing things like the Vulcan medal of honor so there would be more merchandise to sell.

[NJCaNS]

Im probably the only one who finds this amusing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ynb20P898kI'll just say this: I'm not surprised that YOU find that amusing. :D

[joker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=136cNGNd7Yg

[Maxwell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=136cNGNd7Yg
You have good taste - I love Steven Lynch! And that is not even one of his better ones I've seen of his. He's got a couple Comedy Central specials which are epic...

[joker]

This one plays multiple videos in a row: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZJM737Zl0&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=MLGxdCwVVULXfHpkJgqxaVlkRXBkLOsD2K

[Maxwell]

This one plays multiple videos in a row: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZJM737Zl0&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=MLGxdCwVVULXfHpkJgqxaVlkRXBkLOsD2K
Brilliant. I love him...

[Fire$torm]

That was pretty funny gonna do some link forwarding :)

Desilu studios named after Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball if I remember right. In the last season Gene Roddenberry (smelling the writing on the wall) started introducing things like the Vulcan medal of honor so there would be more merchandise to sell.

Touche! Give that man a cookie :)

[joker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggOdTarlYWY

[c303a]

A blonde goes ice fishing



A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino,and began to cut yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK."

[Maxwell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggOdTarlYWY
I love Mitch Hedberg. If you're ever in need of a fix, check out the Mitch Hedberg Quote Generator (http://hedburgh.com/quoter.php).

[c303a]

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one
you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

[joker]

=))=))=)).....

[c303a]

Subject: Healthcare is out there!

If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport . . ..
- you’ll get a free x-ray, a pat-down including breast exam, and . . .. if you mention Al Queda, you get a colonoscopy.

[c303a]

Pregnant blonde


The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck', and I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, 'I have some really great news!'

I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'

She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, 'That's great I couldn't be happier for you!'

Then she said, 'There's more.'
I asked, 'What do you mean there's more?'

She said, 'Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!'

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,
I asked her how she knew.

She said. . .

'Well, that was the easy part. I went to Sam's Club and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!

[c303a]

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.

[c303a]

How the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off while Slicing salami at work,
He blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day
For 40 years and die of lung cancer,
Your family blames the Tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes
Into a tree while driving home drunk,
He blames the bartender.

If your grandchildren are
Brats without manners, You blame television.

If your friend is shot by a
Deranged madman,
You blame the gun manufacturer..

And if a crazed person breaks
Into the cockpit and
Tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet,
And the passengers
Kill him instead,
The mother of the crazed deceased
Blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to
Understand the world
As it is anymore.

So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to Blame Bill Gates.

[joker]

So true. I am going to have to pass that one along.

[c303a]

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
Husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?"
She asked.

"Hunting Flies"
He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.

[Maxwell]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110401.gif

[DrPop]

hahaha! Oh man, those were some good ones. Here's one for you:

http://www.wadegrindle.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Awake-Brain-Surgery.jpg

[c303a]

God loves a blonde:

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate, so she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray.. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
Don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the lottery."


Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.


Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car.. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.


PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself.....


"Sweetheart, work with Me on this...... Buy a ticket."

[DrPop]

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this...... Buy a ticket."

hahahaha... =)):(( ...ROFL!!!

[DrPop]

Here's a good one:

168

[Maxwell]

I'm about 70% sure Joker has said this at some point:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110414.gif

[joker]

I'm about 70% sure Joker has said this at some point:

Not really..........but my mom has! X_X

[Maxwell]

http://www.gifsoup.com/view3/2050260/how-to-catch-a-baby-o.gif

[Maxwell]

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal01/2011/3/9/15/enhanced-buzz-22038-1299702036-35.jpg

[Maxwell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5mK7dzyUkM

[zombie67]

Something I learned today, and found interesting:

Cleopatra lived closer in time to the first Moon landing than to the building of the Great Pyramid.

[joker]

Thought the moon landing was staged! ;)

[Dandasarge]

Thought the moon landing was staged! ;)

It was, you don't wake up one day and go "I'm going to land on the moon today." It takes many stages.

[Maxwell]

Wow. Just, wow.
http://www.photobasement.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/areyoucrazy.jpg

[c303a]

Fondling in Bed



After 20 years of marriage, a couple were lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.



It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.



He then caressed her shoulders and neck slowly moving his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.



He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch TV.



As she had become quite aroused by this caressing she asked in a loving voice, “That was wonderful. Why did you stop?”





He said, “I found the remote.”

[Maxwell]

This was just brilliant...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhk5Rjz7xk0&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iN7OS0V17PQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW9_SM5i2M4&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KUcMmGMDHE&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaqUKLx2z-Y&feature=player_embedded

[Fire$torm]

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/8316/barrettmotivationsmall.jpg (http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/1886/barrettmotivation.jpg)

[joker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcZd-ql7t1I

[Maxwell]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcZd-ql7t1I
That reminds me of the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark... I like it!

[DrPop]

This just in from a Dr. friend of mine. :D

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.


She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.


She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.


'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'


The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.


The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.


'Yes, I do' she replies.


The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.


'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'


'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.


The husband continues. Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'


'I remember that too' she replies softly.


He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...


'I would have been released today.'

ROFL....!!!....:((=))

[c303a]

Perfect comeback

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching someone sitting next to him

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange

& blue - and my dad kept staring at her.

The teen would look over and find my dad staring, every time.

When she'd finally had enough, she sarcastically asked:

"What's the matter old man, never done anything

wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on

his response - I knew he'd have a good one!

In classic style, he responded without batting an eyelid:

"Got drunk once and had s e x with a peacock.

I was just wondering if you were my daughter."

[Maxwell]

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

[c303a]

I'm sure some of us can understand what this guy is going through.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1B4AZI

[Maxwell]

This tickled me in a weird way...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u011XHmYq1Q&feature=player_embedded

[zombie67]

I get to see this on Friday!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa2Os8eOUjs

[Zytozux]

Best gif I've seen in a while, "Karaoke_ghostrider."
http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/184635-1/Karaoke_ghostrider.gif

[joker]

Would that be considered a "hair" band? :D

[Duke of Buckingham]

They fired the party. It was a very hot environment. :))

Duke

[Crazybob]

This tickled me in a weird way...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u011XHmYq1Q&feature=player_embedded

:)):)):))

[Fire$torm]

This tickled me in a weird way...
Hysterical!!!

[Maxwell]

I apologize if this offends anyone, but my Catholic school sensibilities nearly made me do a spit take at the screen..
http://www.channelate.com/comics/2008-11-29-you-can-always-sell-your-body.jpg

[Maxwell]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110516.gif (http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2247)

[Duke of Buckingham]

Someone called me?

Duke of Buckingham

[Maxwell]

http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/job-fails-so-true-it-hurts.jpg

[joker]

I am guessing that someone........who's name starts with a T.......may not be happy with that post! :p;):))

[Duke of Buckingham]

Tuke

And I am not well today but I couldnt resist

[c303a]

This ones for Dr.Pop!

Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors".
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.

"Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts".....no way.

"Freaks and Cheeks".....still no good.

"Loons and Moons".....forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--Odds and Ends"

Everyone loved it!

[c303a]

The Candy With The Little Hole

This should make you smile. You have to love little kids.


The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.....................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green.................Lime
Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.
None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, "I will give you all a clue.

It's what your Mother may sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, "Oh my God! They're a$$-holes!"

The teacher had to leave the room.

[joker]

=))=)) Classic as usual c303a!!

[DrPop]

[SIZE="6"]This ones for Dr.Pop!...

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--Odds and Ends"

Everyone loved it!

That was great! ;) Thanks for some late night cheer while waiting for my RNA WUs to upload. :))

[DrPop]

win --> Mac --> Linux --> Win/Mac

I loved that! So awesome. :)) ;)

[Maxwell]

Actually, this is why I'm currently single...

http://superbooyah.com/images/stories/Galleries/Funny/dating/bead%20guy.jpg

And why joker is single...

http://superbooyah.com/images/stories/Galleries/Funny/dating/hong%20kong%20cupid.jpg

And why we mock the French.

http://superbooyah.com/images/stories/Galleries/Funny/dating/mom.jpg

[YoDude9999]

A blonde girl has her car parked in the driveway when a major hail storm causes several dents all over the car.

She takes the car to the repair guy and (for fun) he tells her she needs to blow on the tailpipe to push out the dents.

She drives the car home and parks it in the driveway. She gets out and begins to blow on the tail pipe in her efforts to remove the dents as the mechanic had instructed her.

Try and try to no avail did the dents pop out and as she was beginning to think the mechanic had pulled a gag on her, her blonde roommate walks outside and seeing this stops in curiosity and asks, "What are you doing?"

The girl responded to her roommate that the mechanic instructed her to do this to remove the dents caused by the hail storm.

Her roommate looked at her, and stated, "You have to roll the windows up for that to work!"

Yo-

[Mike029]

Here is an old one for ya.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wneWLPOdpug

[Maxwell]

This one warmed my heart a bit...

http://www.obviouswinner.com/obvwin/2011/3/14/casey-the-punisher-power-body-slams-school-yard-bully.html

[Duke of Buckingham]

[-O< joker where are you, me and maxwell are missing you? :((
Come back to us we forgive all those bad things about maxwell mother you use to say. :rolleyes:

Missing joker Duke :p

[Duke of Buckingham]

Computer Dinner time

http://www.funny-potato.com/images/computers/microwave.jpg

[Fire$torm]

That is very, VERY cool Duke. \m/

[Maxwell]

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2011/5/21/15/pure-genius-1746-1306006913-29.jpg

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2011/5/21/15/pure-genius-1746-1306006913-29.jpg

Very well Maxwell. Thanks for sharing. It is a great post.

[Maxwell]

Nerdy math awesomeness...

http://www.virtualshackles.com/img/hitchhikers_guide.jpg

[YoDude9999]

Hahahahaha....I love that movie! Thx Max!

Yo-

[Maxwell]

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1277415/dont_judge_too_quickly_we_wont/

[YoDude9999]

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1277415/dont_judge_too_quickly_we_wont/

Nice!

Yo-

[spingadus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dULOjT9GYdQ&feature=player_embedded

[Maxwell]

You found my theme song, spingadus! I love that!

And speaking of Nimoy, I have a book of poetry called "Warmed by Love" by Nimoy. It is just as awesome as you would think... :p

[Maxwell]

And people actually fall for this stuff...

http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

[spingadus]

Depends on who you ask. Every time I've tried this with someone that has gone to college it hasn't worked. Or anyone who remembers high school chemistry for that matter. They usually figure it out.

[Fire$torm]

And people actually fall for this stuff...

http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

Wikipedia: Dihydrogen monoxide hoax Story (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_Monoxide)

Excerpt

The hoax is designed to illustrate how the lack of scientific literacy and an exaggerated analysis can lead to misplaced fears


Edit: This lack of scientific knowledge reminds me of the old joke....

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

[spingadus]

for some unknown reason I just drooled on myself. Must be the weather...

[c303a]

Only a Farm Kid...

When you're from the country, your perception is a little different.......


A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door

"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'

The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

[c303a]

Mrs. Deluca comes to visit her son, Anthony, for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.

But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama
Moral: Never lie to your Mama .

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://www.funpub.net/poze/mare/20_pics_90328_1185292599.jpg

The Duck

[Maxwell]

I'm seriously laughing out loud at that, Duke! Yes!

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://www.funpub.net/poze/mare/06_1182599667.jpg

and now I am the Duck 205

The Duck

[Duke of Buckingham]

time to sleep goodnight people

http://crunchpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/babies-sleeping-pictures-05.jpeg

The Duck 206

[joker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yegUWbv6oyo&feature=related

[YoDude9999]

Poor Data, never gets a break.....that was funny as hell!

[Maxwell]

For you US residents, learn about where you live!

http://dudelol.com/img/what-is-your-state-the-worst-at-the-united-states-of-shame.jpg

[Maxwell]

What if your online life turned into your real life?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDycZH0CA4I

[joker]

Always knew your were creepy Max!! :cool:

[Maxwell]

I seriously laughed out loud...

As seen on Lamebook: "After the game, I saw LeBron and asked him to break a dollar. He gave me 75 cents. He said he didn't bring a fourth quarter."

Headline: "4th Quarter"

http://www.epicweird.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/epicphotos4361.jpg

[Duke of Buckingham]

221

222

Upon completion of this investigation, Microsoft will take action to help solve your problem. This will involve remote execution of the user.

The Duke not as crazy as Microsoft.

[Maxwell]

A text message from joker:

http://www.smartphowned.com/images/content/29899.jpg

[Duke of Buckingham]

:p When I was bon I was so hugly the doctor said if he dont bark in 15 days you may raise him for he is a person.

The Duck :mad:

[Maxwell]

Hah! When I was born, my head was so huge that the doctor's comment was "Wow, I've never seen a baby whose head was bigger than his shoulders." And sadly, that's not even a joke. My poor mother...

[Duke of Buckingham]

Once between three friends talking the first said If one day I arrive home and my wife was with another man I would kill my wife. The second said I would kill the guy. And after abig Gap both asked the Third and you what would you do? He said well I would put the dog on the street and throw the walking stick out the window. One of the other two said "the dog" the other said "walking stick"?????? So the man replied for someone to be with my wife he must be blind...:cool:

[Maxwell]

Once between three friends talking the first said If one day I arrive home and my wife was with another man I would kill my wife. The second said I would kill the guy. And after abig Gap both asked the Third and you what would you do? He said well I would put the dog on the street and throw the walking stick out the window. One of the other two said "the dog" the other said "walking stick"?????? So the man replied for someone to be with my wife he must be blind...:cool:
Oh my god. That was awesome!

[Duke of Buckingham]

A Politician anywhere in the world was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.

If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.

[Duke of Buckingham]

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Monaghan's flat in Dungarvan when Sean O'Toole loses €700 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael Lennon looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Sean's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws. Cavan Colquhoun picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse.' Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.' announces Cavan.

He goes over to O'Toole's house and knocks on the door.
Brenda O'Toole answers and asks what he wants. Cavan declares: 'Your husband just lost €700 and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!' snarls Brenda.' I'll go tell him.' says Cavan.

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/phone_pub.jpg

[Maxwell]

Well played, Duke. Well played...

[Maxwell]

I'm pretty sure this qualifies as brilliantly dumb. And completely awesome.

http://funnyblerg.blogspot.com/2011/03/queens-bohemian-rhapsody-parody-in.html

[trigggl]

The Engineer and The Manager (http://www.scientistsolutions.com/t4850-the+engineer+and+the+manager.html)

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says "You must be a manager."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://friends18.com/img/funny-animation/0329.gif

http://www.reconnectedsoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/happy-little-boy.jpg
I can see you better now

[joker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvZ4f_Pnk7M

[c303a]

The Budweiser Drunk,

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ...

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Budweiser he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Budweiser, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Budweiser stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Budweiser, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://www.jokesprank.com/gallery/data/media/12/FunnyHorse1.jpg

I like it a lot.

Duke

[c303a]

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

[c303a]

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' And out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes down stairs,
And the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over And that it is just not appropriate...
The grandmother says, 'Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, Then I can display my hanging baskets.

Happy Gardening.

Don't mess with a Senior Citizen!

[c303a]

The History of the Internet


In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham , her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.




To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates ' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham , what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua , being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).


That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

[Duke of Buckingham]

Yes that happens a lot to me the other day I went to an analyst complaining about delusions of grandeur. When the therapist led me to the divan, he begins the dialog: – Relax and begin by the first beginning … – Good, doctor, in the beginning I did the Sky and the Land …

I dont understand why I am closed in an institution since then.

Duke :confused:

[STMahlberg]

In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it's fine, but women can't sleep with lots of men or else they're whores. "If a key opens a lot of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it's just a crappy lock." :D

[Crazybob]

In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it's fine, but women can't sleep with lots of men or else they're whores. "If a key opens a lot of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it's just a crappy lock." :D

I'm going to remember that one. You never know when your going to want to start a fight and this is as good a jumping off spot as any!:)

[STMahlberg]

I'm going to remember that one. You never know when your going to want to start a fight and this is as good a jumping off spot as any!:)

LOL That will do it for you. :)

[STMahlberg]

From: Subject: Fwd: Men who lack female supervision

Some good examples below.

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/4609/att00001pg.jpg

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/9070/att00002v.jpg

http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/3566/att00003k.jpg

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/4879/att00004hd.jpg

http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/4356/att00005a.jpg

http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/1959/att00006gd.jpg

http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/3469/att00007ax.jpg

http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3373/att00008a.jpg

http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/3606/att00009.jpg

http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9982/att00010c.jpg

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/9985/att00011x.jpg

http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/8847/att00012d.jpg

[trigggl]

From: Subject: Fwd: Men who lack female supervision

Some good examples below.

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/4609/att00001pg.jpg

I wonder if the can at the lower right hand corner had anything to do with this...:-?

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://www.homewatercoolers.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/nice-cup-of-tea-from-the-home-water-cooler.jpg

[Fire$torm]

Great stuff guys...... Way funny :P

[c303a]

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, 'Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.'

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: 'Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.'

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, 'All right buddy what's your name?'

'Fred,' the cowboy moaned.

'Where ya from, Fred?' asked the Ranger.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,




....the
balcony...

[Duke of Buckingham]

Maxwell let the dishwasher alone joker isnt there.

http://funkydowntown.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Unusual-funny-crazy-Kids-2.jpg

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://2pep.com/funny%20pics/worlds%20funniest/super_funny_hilarious_pictures_pics_of_kid.jpg

The kid is usings Bok's symbol, is that you Bok?

[Cruncher Pete]

You have a great sense of imagination and humor Duke. Keep it up mate, I love it and look forward to your posts.

Keep on crunching and have a nice day...
CP

[Fire$torm]

Duke!!!! Those pics are outrageously funny =))

\m/ \m/ \m/

[Duke of Buckingham]

Thanks F$. One more to you.
http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium/surfing-the-waters-of-a-fire-storm-daniele-smith.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1181237292l/1130421.jpg
http://www.1999.co.jp/itbig06/10069556a9.jpg
If F$ is going to the beach. I will go also. Is only put this cloths.
http://www.1999.co.jp/itbig06/10069556a7.jpg
Wait for me F$ I can be anybody's mother.

[Maxwell]

Maxwell let the dishwasher alone joker isnt there.
This picture is why I'm not allowed with 500 meters of an elementary school now.

:cool:;):D:o

[Duke of Buckingham]

Hey Zombie , is this your favourite restaurant?
http://mrsmouthy.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/shirt.jpg

http://i.ehow.com/images/a02/6p/hc/clean-a-dishwasher-800X800.jpg
Maxwell ... Maxwell ... Where are you?
http://www.layoutlocator.com/graphics/dldimg/bd0c00e730c8c832d4ae148d48c647fb_265082107014017.g if
He is not here also...

[Duke of Buckingham]

A Portuguese opens a branch of his nail shop in Rome. As advertising is everything, he did a billboard with a picture of Christ nailed to the cross and underneath was written:

"Nails Garcia - 2000 years of guarantee."

It was a uproar. A Bishop of Rome was personally going to talk to the Portuguese and explained that he could not do that, that was a mortal sin.

So decided to make a new billboard. Placed Christ with one hand nailed to the cross and the other loose, giving bye-bye. Underneath was written:

"Guess in which hand was used the Nail Garcia?"

- God of Heaven!

Even the Holy Father left the Vatican and go to talk with the Portuguese:

- What heresy my son! You can not use Jesus Christ as your poster boy ... Invent something and remove it now!

- Then I'll make a new billboard, without Christ! - Thought the Portuguese.

He put the photo of the empty cross and underneath was written:

"If the nail was Garcia, The guy would not run away ..."

http://www.modresdes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Manual-Nailing-3.jpg

[Zytozux]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxaCOHT0pmI

[Zytozux]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF0uLnMoQZA&feature=youtu.be

[Duke of Buckingham]

The Jacob will put an advert in the newspaper.
- I would like to place an obituary about the death of my wife, says to the attendant.
- Yes, what are the words?
- Sarah died!
- That's it? - Cried the boy.
- Yes, Jacob did not want to spend much.
- But the minimum price allows up to five words.
- He adds: "Sarah died. Sell Chevrolet 94."

[Zytozux]

The Jacob will put an advert in the newspaper.
- I would like to place an obituary about the death of my wife, says to the attendant.
- Yes, what are the words?
- Sarah died!
- That's it? - Cried the boy.
- Yes, Jacob did not want to spend much.
- But the minimum price allows up to five words.
- He adds: "Sarah died. Sell Chevrolet 94."

Too soon lawl o.O

Meanwhile in Russia...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zxxM9EYQzY

[Fire$torm]

I don't know if anyone else has seen this in the BM messages tab. I just noticed it today and got a good laugh out of it.

FreeHAL@home 10/27/2011 2:38:13 PM update requested by user
FreeHAL@home 10/27/2011 2:38:15 PM Sending scheduler request: Requested by user.
FreeHAL@home 10/27/2011 2:38:15 PM Reporting 4 completed tasks, requesting new tasks for CPU
FreeHAL@home 10/27/2011 2:38:18 PM Scheduler request completed: got 0 new tasks
FreeHAL@home 10/27/2011 2:38:18 PM Message from server: Not sending work - in a metaphorical sense, you are stuck in a traffic jam

[Duke of Buckingham]

Six months since I see those messages at least twice a month but I will try any emotion on that. And this time they are not alone Yafu and DNA were with that message to.

http://media.myspacepimper.com/content/gif/smiles/smiles_407.gif

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://troll.me/images/stoner-dog/coworker-asks-what-you-did-this-weekend-cant-remember-shit.jpg

Crazy Duke ... http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EISHARJPBFw/TcYRbnCB5RI/AAAAAAAAFAk/TtpgBQToRhY/s640/old-lady-smoking-cigar1.jpg

[N1gh7m4r3]

She's hot


---
I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=40.570045,-85.659532
Sent from my iPhone 4s using Tapatalk

[N1gh7m4r3]

She's hot


---
I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=40.570156,-85.659556
Sent from my iPhone 4s using Tapatalk

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ky1bf81QrMw/S6-jQ-4XoQI/AAAAAAAAAdw/OKDFNQsWLBU/s1600/very-fat-woman-eating.jpg

http://troll.me/images/stoner-dog/smokes-weed-before-home-work-scrolls-tumblr-dash-for-5-hours.jpg

More crazy Duke http://www.hardcorepatches.com/images/weed%20smiley%20face.jpg

[Crazybob]

If that one made you gag, here's one to get the day started.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3-XjQzStHg&feature=player_embedded

[c303a]

Can we get that on Dancing With The Stars? Just think of the ratings she would get and no coach needed!

[DrPop]

Now that's talent! ;)

[Fire$torm]

Now that's talent! ;)

+1

[Duke of Buckingham]

About Big Talents ...

http://www.odditieszone.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/very-big-tits-10.jpg

[Duke of Buckingham]

http://lh3.google.com/shaileshdoke/R6z08IfiyoI/AAAAAAAAAPs/EnBzbyQh_9o/funny-pictures-driving-cat-hits-dog%5B9%5D

[Duke of Buckingham]

Mad cats driving...
...But I escaped.
http://www.jonco48.com/blog/dog_20safety.jpg