New game
Attachment 842
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New game
Attachment 842
What was its name?
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
I will have to learn how to play Bingo invisy.
seems legit
Thats awesome.. =))Quote:
Originally Posted by invisy
lmao
Never before seen in internet ... :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLXtT7uSOmQ
Five truths
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the jerk’s name.
3. If you help someone when he's in trouble, he will remember you when he's in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but neither does milk.
Moral to be learned
Partners help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
Adventures in teaching
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales
at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often
ad-libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade
class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was
trying to acquire building materials for his home. She
said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a
wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might
I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the
teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?"
and my friend's son raised his hand and said
"I know! I know! He said 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'"
http://livinggreenmag.com/wp-content.../vegan-pig.jpg
I hit on this page by folksinger Christine Lavin showing the results of automatic translation of some of her song titles to and from a foreign language by the AltaVista automated translation software. For example :
The original song title : Please Don't Make Me Too Happy
To French to English:
Please Not Return To Me Too Happy
To German to English:
Please To Me Do Not Go Back Too Lucky
To Italian To English:
I Pray To Me Not To Go Behind Too Much Fortunate
To Portugese to Eng:
I Pray Me Not To Go Too Much Behind Fortunate
To Spanish To Eng:
I Request To Me Not To Go Too Much Behind Lucky Person
The Most Powerful English Word
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is "F==K". It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. "F==K" falls into many grammatical categories.It can be used as a verb - both transitive (Dave f==ked Anne) and intransitive(Dave then f==ked off home). It can be used as an active verb (Dave f==ks Anne regularly) or as a passive verb (Anne is regularly f==ked by Dave). It makes a wonderful adjective (Anne is f==king beautiful) and can even be a noun (Dave is a fine f==k). So you see, there are not many words with the versatility of "F==K". Besides its sexual connotations, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations :
aggression : F*** you.
apathy : Who gives a f*** anyway?
denial : I didn't f***ing do it.
derision : He f*** everything up
despair : F***ed again.
difficulty : I don't understand this f***ing job.
disbelief : How the f*** did you do that?
dismay : Oh, f*** it.
displeasure : What the f*** is going on?
fraud : I got f***ed by my insurance agent.
goodbye : F*** off.
greeting : How the f*** are you?
incompetence : He's all f***ed up.
lost : Where the f*** are we?
mistake : That's f***ed it.
panic : Let's get the f*** out of here.
perplexity : I know f*** all about it.
philosophical : Who gives a f***?
rebellion : F*** this for a game of soldiers.
resignation : Oh, f*** it.
retaliation : Up your f***ing ass.
surprise : F*** me.
suspicion : Who the f*** are you?
trouble : I guess I'm f***ed now.
It can be...useful in describing anatomy : He's a f***ing asshole.
used to tell the time : It's five f***ng thirty.
used in business : How did I get this f***ing job.
a predication : Oh, will I get f***ed.
maternal : You great motherf***er.
nautical : F*** the admiral.
political : F*** Kinnock/Thatcher.
used to open a relationship : Let's f***.
The word has, of course, been used by some very famous personages through the years, the more notable of them being :
What the f*** was that? Mayor of Hiroshima
Look at all those f***ing Indians! General Custer
Where's all that f***ing water coming from? Captain of the Titanic
What a place to plant a f***ing tree. Marc Bolan
That's not a real f***ing gun. John Lennon
The f***ing throttle's stuck! Donald Campbell
Who's going to f***ing know? President Nixon
I'm outside the f***ing exclusion zone. Capt. of Gen. Belgrano
Heads are going to f***ing roll! Anne Boleyn
Who let that f***ing woman drive? Space Shuttle Captain
Watch him, he'll have some f***er's eye out. King Harold
I thought I could smell f***ing petrol. Nikki Lauda
What f***ing map? Mark Thatcher
It's my best f***ing coat. Michael Foot
She's just a f***ing secretary. Cecil Parkinson
He's just a f***ing mate. Jeremy Thorpe
Any f***er can understand that. Einstein
It f***ing looks like her! Picasso
Where's the f***ing brakes on this thing. Donald Campbell
Where the f*** are we? Christopher Columbus
It's a sunny day, we don't need a f***ing top on the car. JFK
What the f***s that coming down the ventilation shaft. Iraqi airbase staff
Nobody will give a f*** about the poll tax. Margaret Thatcher
How the f*** do we work that out? Pythagoras
You want what on the f***ing ceiling?! Michaelangelo
I don't suppose it's f***ing raining. Joan of Arc
I didn't want to f***ing go anyway. Sebastion Coe
I haven't got a f***ing clue. Miss Marples.