You have good taste - I love Steven Lynch! And that is not even one of his better ones I've seen of his. He's got a couple Comedy Central specials which are epic...Originally Posted by joker
This one plays multiple videos in a row: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKZJM...aVlkRXBkLOsD2K
Brilliant. I love him...
Touche! Give that man a cookieThat was pretty funny gonna do some link forwarding
Desilu studios named after Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball if I remember right. In the last season Gene Roddenberry (smelling the writing on the wall) started introducing things like the Vulcan medal of honor so there would be more merchandise to sell.
A blonde goes ice fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino,and began to cut yet another hole.
Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK."
RETIRED. NO JOB. NO MONEY. NO WORRIES!
Crunched SETI Classic to the end.
SETI@home classic workunits
17,550
SETI@home classic CPU time 86,861 hours
I love Mitch Hedberg. If you're ever in need of a fix, check out the Mitch Hedberg Quote Generator.
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one
you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
RETIRED. NO JOB. NO MONEY. NO WORRIES!
Crunched SETI Classic to the end.
SETI@home classic workunits
17,550
SETI@home classic CPU time 86,861 hours
.....
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