Joke of the day

[krazy k]

Proofreading is a dying art.



Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.




I just couldn't help sending this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?


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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!


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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!


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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!


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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!


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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!


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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!


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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!


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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!


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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?


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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!


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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!


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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas inSpacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!


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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?


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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!


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And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

[Slicker]

Proofreading is a dying art.

That reminds me of a road sign I saw last weekend that said "Caution! Autistic child". How about that? I didn't know autistic children were dangerous!

[DrPop]

Oh man...some of those were AWESOME, thanks!

[coronicus]

That reminds me of a road sign I saw last weekend that said "Caution! Autistic child". How about that? I didn't know autistic children were dangerous!

I dont get it... Why would you make a sign like that... Uhm if you see school sign or children crossing sign uhm you should be slowing your arse down and paying attention... So what an autistic child runs across the street diferently then any other child... wow im at a lose...


Edit: Maybe i need to go back to driving school?????

[GregK]

lol! thanks for the jokes!

[krazy k]

lol! thanks for the jokes!

I still think that whomever found out that kids make tasty snacks might need to be checked out.

[krazy k]

A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...Sorry.

I'm thinking of Captain Morgan. It's Captain Morgan that does all that shit.

Never mind.

[Slicker]

I dont get it... Why would you make a sign like that... Uhm if you see school sign or children crossing sign uhm you should be slowing your arse down and paying attention... So what an autistic child runs across the street diferently then any other child... wow im at a lose...


Edit: Maybe i need to go back to driving school?????

A "Children Playing" sign or something would have been better. I wonder how old the kid will be when he figures out the street sign is a label for him. That being said, if autistic kids do run differently than other kids, they'd be worth fewer points. It isn't like an old lady where you get 10 bonus points for not spilling the contents of her purse and 5 more for avoiding her walker when you run her over.

[Fire$torm]

A "Children Playing" sign or something would have been better. I wonder how old the kid will be when he figures out the street sign is a label for him. That being said, if autistic kids do run differently than other kids, they'd be worth fewer points. It isn't like an old lady where you get 10 bonus points for not spilling the contents of her purse and 5 more for avoiding her walker when you run her over.

One of my favorite Cult Classics DR2K.

[c303a]

Idle Thoughts Of A Wandering Mind:

I planted some bird seed.
A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it
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I had amnesia once --- or twice
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I went to San Francisco.
I found someone's heart. Now what?
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Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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All I ask is a chance to prove
that money can't make me happy
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If the world were a logical place,
men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
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What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible
and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous
in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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Experience is the thing you have left
when everything else is gone.
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One nice thing about egotists:
they don't talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height
-- which varies.
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I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
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How can there be self-help "groups"?
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If swimming is so good for your figure,
how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
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Is it me -- or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?