I am guessing that someone........who's name starts with a T.......may not be happy with that post!
I am guessing that someone........who's name starts with a T.......may not be happy with that post!
Tuke
And I am not well today but I couldnt resist
Last edited by Duke of Buckingham; 05-20-11 at 09:29 PM.
This ones for Dr.Pop!
Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors".
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
"Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable again!
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts".....no way.
"Freaks and Cheeks".....still no good.
"Loons and Moons".....forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--Odds and Ends"
Everyone loved it!
RETIRED. NO JOB. NO MONEY. NO WORRIES!
Crunched SETI Classic to the end.
SETI@home classic workunits
17,550
SETI@home classic CPU time 86,861 hours
The Candy With The Little Hole
This should make you smile. You have to love little kids.
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red.....................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green.................Lime
Orange ...............Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.
None of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, "I will give you all a clue.
It's what your Mother may sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, "Oh my God! They're a$$-holes!"
The teacher had to leave the room.
RETIRED. NO JOB. NO MONEY. NO WORRIES!
Crunched SETI Classic to the end.
SETI@home classic workunits
17,550
SETI@home classic CPU time 86,861 hours
Classic as usual c303a!!
That was great!Originally Posted by c303a
Thanks for some late night cheer while waiting for my RNA WUs to upload.
I loved that! So awesome.
Actually, this is why I'm currently single...
And why joker is single...
And why we mock the French.
A blonde girl has her car parked in the driveway when a major hail storm causes several dents all over the car.
She takes the car to the repair guy and (for fun) he tells her she needs to blow on the tailpipe to push out the dents.
She drives the car home and parks it in the driveway. She gets out and begins to blow on the tail pipe in her efforts to remove the dents as the mechanic had instructed her.
Try and try to no avail did the dents pop out and as she was beginning to think the mechanic had pulled a gag on her, her blonde roommate walks outside and seeing this stops in curiosity and asks, "What are you doing?"
The girl responded to her roommate that the mechanic instructed her to do this to remove the dents caused by the hail storm.
Her roommate looked at her, and stated, "You have to roll the windows up for that to work!"
Yo-
Here is an old one for ya.
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