Ok...I get you. It's not a normal board - Dell crippled it. Lame.
What CPU do you currently have? Intel has variants of the socket 775 quads as low as 65W TDP. That is the same as a dual core.
If you insist on staying with that mobo/platform, please do this: Go into the BIOS and see if you can select either 800, 1066 or 1333 MHz manually from the menu, or if it will let you type it in. If you can, then that is a simple way to O/C these puppies, even if you have a "handicapped" factory board from Dell, and you can't change any other setting.
If you can select the 1333 MHz FSB, then get the cheaper 7xxx series core 2 duos because you can O/C them easily. The 8xxx series, already running at 1333 FSB, won't give you that option, and will cost you more.
Options: Ebay
Core 2 Duo E7400 - $70 Buy it now price. And you can do a search - 7200, 7300, 7400, 7500, 7600 - pick your best deal. Cheapest way for you to get the SSE4 support that you want.
Really, I understand the marriage thing, and the money thing, and the stress thing. The best bet is to talk with her about the options, and list out a pro and con sheet. If you need, I can give you a good price on a mobo and high O/Cing AMD Quad if it comes to that.
Otherwise, Newegg has great deals all the time. You will have a way better system as far as future options if you go with the AM3 route, 2 PCI-E slots and a quad core. But...I know how life is, and if all you want to screw with is just dropping in a new CPU...well, I suppose the Core2Duo 7000 series is for you.